Poem of Quotes Members



I hate myself. I am not the girl I want to be.

Feeling like i cried myself endessly.

And feel like my heart being torn down into nothing.

my body feels so lifeless and like I cant breath anymore.

I feel like I am the walking dead.

And feel like no one sees me in pain or that I hate this girl that is living in this body.

this is what you call depression.

These negative thoughts have gotten a hold on me.

I can't stop the blood floating down my soul less face.

or stop my heart dieing away into nothing.

my thoughts have stop. Feelings are burried deep inside now.

This is what you call Depression.

I wish I was dead so everyone will be happy I am gone.

Want to stop breathing and just bleed out.

I wish I could stop these tears and those negative thoughts.

This is what you call depression.

By: Margaret Rose McDonald

by EvalyRose
posted on 10/06/2010

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Comments: 3

Comment by Dayani: Oct 14, 2010 10:35 pm
Since your mailbox is full, I'm posting this here.

I've read your other poems. You have great expression.
That is different to being a great poet.
I don't care about your disabilities, I wasn't unkind to you, I simply told you what was making your poem appear worse than it could.
Anway, I'm dyslexic and English is my third language.

Use a dictionary, it really helps. Sometimes you need more than one tool to get the spelling right, but someone on here will always point them out for you.

It's the little things, like I.M speak in poetry and not capitalising "i"s which piss people off.

Yeah, grammar's an art form. If you know yours is that bad, you really do need someone to read your writing before you post it, even if you have to wait to talk to them before you can.
If you catch my drift.

I don't tell people to just delete their poems. I say take it down and try again, which makes it easier to correct the small mistakes.

Which poem of yours did I even comment on, anyway?
I honestly can't remember.
Comment by ScarletSorrows: Oct 11, 2010 6:21 am
agreed but i loved the flow and everything well i simply loved it u did an outstanding job!
Comment by trucefallen: Oct 6, 2010 1:11 pm
good metaphors only advice i have is try some stronger words

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