May 23rd

Lock it away.
Lock all of it away.
Lock all of the feelings away.
Lock all of the feelings of depression away.

No one will see it.
No one will see past the smile.
No one will see that I'm slowly dying inside.
No one will see that I'm only doing this to make them happy.

Mentally I've covered myself with scars.
There isn't an inch of me I haven't abused.
My wrists feel heavy with scars,
Even though they don't exist.
I don't need scars to cause self-harm.
My thoughts are sharper and they hit veins no knife ever could.
My scars are mental.

Every scar lies on my heart,
And one day it'll stop beating
From all the weight.

But till then
I'll lock it away.
I'll "move on."

I feel so unimportant.
Always had.
Now I always will.
Thanks to you.

I fell for you so wholly and passionately.
You made me feel comfortable in my own skin.
I opened up to you.
But all too soon you were gone.
And I was left with deeper scars then that time should have caused.

I guess I won't get attached.
I guess I won't love anyone with all my heart
Because I'm too worried it'll be shattered again.

You unwittingly caused so many problems.
Future problems.
I may go through the motions,
But don't ever assume I'm okay.
I've started to lie.

You have created a monster.
You all have created a monster.
But it's alright,
Because you're happy,
And you think I'm okay.

by Luv4shelly
posted on 06/12/2012

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