I always try to throw a bit of nature into haiku... But that's just a nod of the head to tradition.
Your punctuation bothered me a little, I'd either lose it all or put it all in.
The last line seems redundant to me, because of what is said in the line before it - I'd play with it a bit. Just a thought.
I enjoyed this, writing to a form constricts language and forces word choices upon the writer. You never quite know what magic may happen.
Your punctuation bothered me a little, I'd either lose it all or put it all in.
The last line seems redundant to me, because of what is said in the line before it - I'd play with it a bit. Just a thought.
I enjoyed this, writing to a form constricts language and forces word choices upon the writer. You never quite know what magic may happen.