Musings of a Bitter Man

I chase the vodka with some water
For my demons chase me farther
Sometimes the stupor makes it harder
Other times
Not so much

*

I grab her by the tits
She holds me by the balls
Her touch too cold
A Queen of Ice
Behold her in her glory
Breaker of men
Still I cum
And she smiles
Coldly

*

I walk a fine line between two souls
She let me go long ago
Funny when I look back on darker times
I always tend to smile
Acrid kisses on bitter foreheads
Recalling further madness
I break into hysterics
I walk a fine line
Stumbling
Here and there
And everywhere

*

I dressed the sunset
For dark serenades echoed my heartache
My belly shook with the lust for more
Intoxication a bitter sweet gift
Like her kisses that scarred my liver
Scarred me over with cruel intentions
And hopeless nights between her thighs

*

I never faulted her
Though that scarlet letter well deserved
The stirrings of her labido a sordid gift of past trauma
She always came back though
I don't know why
To watch me cry I figure
The many hands that scraped her over
Only mine could calm her woe
We were in love
I reckon
Well, what we construed love was anyways
We embraced in our ruin
And the filth of it all still excites me so...

*

I watch the leaves die
Dry and brittle
Dancing on the cracked pavement
In tandem with my own chaos
Hollow in the sunshine, I dredge on
Truly broken
Withered with thirst I quench with gin
A hangovers the cure a drunkard fears
The blossoming bottles to sooth me over
Withered I dance in the wind
No dryer for summer, no worse for wear
Free falling into my own suicide

by deadiam
posted on 05/09/2019

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Tags: memoirs, self reflection

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