Poem of Quotes Members

The Soft Nite

As I gaze into the soft night.
The breeze so light that you hear it,
With the moon that lights the sky like the sun.
Stars as bright as can be.
As you mind wonders though out the night.
With every detail for fills your life.
You catch a glimpse of the future that you want.
All the happiness you can imagine.
You close your eyes to hear the soft breeze,
Tell you what you want to hear through out your life.

by bow16
posted on 04/28/2008

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Comments: 3

Comment by meltedsnowman: Apr 28, 2008 10:47 am
its beutiful
Comment by AFireInYourEyes18: Apr 28, 2008 8:21 am
me like it lol its very good and fyi you have a very jealous husband lol
Comment by google: Apr 28, 2008 8:11 am

nice poem.
You wanted a comment right ?

there are two spelling mistakes.

"As you[r] mind wonders"

and

" detail for fills [fulfills]your life"

content wise

"The breeze so light that you hear it,"

.. seems counter intuitive. it implies that a heavier breeze could not be heard.

maybe
"The breeze so light yet you hear it,"

also

"Stars as bright as can be."

seems to cry out for a more exact simile.
maybe

"Stars as bright as cat eyes."

I like your poem and I hope you are ok with my comments.







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