Poem of Quotes Members

Confiding Session

Last time I was this upset was when my grandfather died. When I was six. I loved him, but I can't remember much of him anymore. I still have the Old MacDonald keyboard he gave me for my sixth birthday. I played with it a lot. But a few months later when he died, I rejected it. I'm surprised I was actually this depressed when I was that young. But I think this was the first time when someone died that I understood what it meant. The keyboards in my right-hand wardrobe, on the top shelf. But the battery's probably leaked after all those years.

I remember only one conversation I had with him. I was five, maybe even four. He was telling me about life back in England. He'd migrated here by boat when he was eight. He said how his house didn't have light bulbs, the floor was just dirt, and he never went to school coz his father died in war and he had to work and look after the family. I asked him lots of questions that day, like "How did you see at night?" and "But weren't you afraid of germs?" He just laughed and topped up my ice-cream. I miss him.

I feel kinda stupid now, feeling all depressed when he grew up like that - without a father and without other things I take for granted. But at the same time, I can't help it. And it ****s me. I can't shake this thing that's enveloping my mind and making me so sad. Coz it makes me think about things. Stuff I don't wanna think about. I don't wanna think about what I don't have. Especially when there's so much that I DO have.

I'm sorry. I just don't wanna cry anymore. I thought talking about it would take a load off my chest. But it hasn't worked; I still feel the same as I did half an hour ago. That's not your fault though.

by PoemWritingGuy
posted on 04/21/2009

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Comments: 3

Comment by PoemWritingGuy: Apr 21, 2009 4:20 pm
Thanks. Smiley
Comment by heystephie: Apr 21, 2009 7:33 am
Oh gosh I LOVE THIS. It's so personal and so touching!! I can tell you miss and love your grandfather a lot....Great job even though its not a poem..Its kinda like a very thought-provoking paragraphSmiley
Comment by Perpetual: Apr 21, 2009 6:04 am
damn! thats awful..but your poem is great Smiley really nice write.

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