Poem of Quotes Members

current autobiography

I no longer taste of midnight,
nor smile like half-full coffee stains drawn onto
a tablecloth.
I rape my cigarettes too often, I fail in finding
copper cents.

I fall
in love too quickly; scratch my knees on lovers' hands,
dip my fingertips in flowerpots of ink and paint the sky a
shade of sad.

Leaves are dripping brown and yellow; kettles of wind
pour down scarf-less necks:

I no longer taste of midnight;
I am dust and spiderwebs.

by Maks
posted on 11/28/2013

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Tags: well, oh
Comments: 13

Comment by prettyspl: Feb 28, 2014 6:09 pm
I'm a little late putting in my two cents but better late than never. Smiley I love this and maybe there's a kink or two but that is only in the mind of the reader; each person sees something different in poetry. Your poetry always amazes and inspires me to be a better writer. I like how unpretentious you write and yes; your imagery is beautiful. Vote!
Comment by Maks: Feb 28, 2014 3:00 am
Thank you for the feedback. Took it into account.

And thank you all for the comments.
Comment by EMSO: Feb 27, 2014 6:48 pm
I do love your imagery.

Couple of things though: I agree with LucidChimp about the rhythm in the third stanza.

Also, I think the last stanza needs a semicolon instead of the comma at the end of the second last line.

Just my two cents worth.
Comment by LucidChimp: Feb 26, 2014 11:38 am
"kettles of wind
are poured into scarf-less necks"

That bothers me.

Aloud, I mean. Somehow it feels... Flat? (in rhythm, not content)

kettles of wind
pour down scarfless necks

Perhaps? Just trying to find the bounce in the language.

This is great, the end is wonderful.
(vote)
Comment by ToWritePoetryOnHerArms: Jan 17, 2014 9:09 am
I feel as if the word "rape" and how you used it in this poem not only sounds awkward but very discomforting if a rape survivver were to read this poem, I don't quite understand the usage of it either. Other than that, I think it's a great piece.
Comment by taybabe1300: Jan 13, 2014 3:54 am
Wow, this is beautifully written. I can relate to the stanza that reads: "I fall
in love too quickly; scratch my knees on lovers' hands,
dip my fingertips in flowerpots of ink and paint the sky a
shade of sad."
Comment by ESharon: Dec 27, 2013 5:25 pm
Maybe one of the best on here!
Comment by Aspire2: Dec 8, 2013 10:51 pm
you are still ever so perfect. damn.
Comment by IsabelleLockhart: Dec 7, 2013 10:34 am
Wow. This is some of the best imagery I have ever read. Whenever I read your poems, I feel inspired. Vote up. Phenomenal read. Keep it up, please!
Comment by HallowReveries: Dec 3, 2013 2:22 am
VU.

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