Poem of Quotes Members

Ethareal Melody

My shoes announce my passage in the quiet halls in spite of my light qait. No, I know in reality I wear these TO spite my silent walk, since I frighten too many people with my tall build when they do notice me. Just an attempt to make myself a little more real, really. I'm already too ghostlike as I am.

The door with the correct markings approaches on my left, guarded by the sign of the meeting occurring inside. I don't feel anything as I grasp the handle and invite myself in.

I'm greeting by a somber circle of people with expressions I'm too familiar with. It feels like a reunion of some kind, I half heartily joke to myself. I find myself a seat and settle myself in like this is an old friend's house. Someone has a guitar and she strums little, repetitive chords that weaves a calming blanket on the room. An image of kids huddled under sheets with a flashlight whispering pieces of their heart to each other float into and out of my head.

Someone resumes talking, with a tone that bears no lie and a little hesitation. As their story winds down, the next person takes a breath as they collect their words and then speaks. Their voice carries regret but also determination. Tale after tale is spun, of the falls of mankind, false hopes, betrayals and the wars fought against oneself and addiction. Yet the strummed melodies slowly take me away into a memory.

Have you ever listened to a slow, mellow song while a sun shower transpires outside your window? It's an ethareal experience.

The silence brings me back gently to them gazing at me. How kind of them to wait. My fingers timidly dance on my thigh along with the strings echoing in the air. I skip introducing myself as I begin when the melody starts again:

"I haven't been sober as long as I can remember,
That's how drunk I've been on sadness.
So I think it'll be alright if all I can do is find her,
But all I've done is get high in the abyss.

I've taken drugs with depression,
Put needles in my arm to spend time with melancholy.
Just to escape my lonely sessions,
But being bereft and agonized is what makes up me.

So I'm sorry if I've broken apart,
with a heavy heart,
But I don't know who this apology is for.
I'm incomplete and morose,
constantly lachrymose,
With aches that leave me crippled on the floor.

My heart has became mostly metal, so many nails driven through,
They started to overlap into a armor so saturnine.
While grieving the past, in crept a cold that grew,
But no one noticed as I constantly said I was fine.

So see now that I'm not whole anymore,
Still on the floor,
And I don't know who these cries are for.
I've become desolated,
Mostly devastated,
Using tears as chasers for the drinks I pour.

So I drink and I drink,
As I sink and I sink so miserably,
Because I was made
with nobody made for me.

So I smoke and I smoke,
Hoping this poison takes me gently,
Because I was made

with nobody made... for... me."

The last notes echo for what seems like eternity as I look into each of their eyes and see my pain reflected there. I ease myself up and let my steps fill the silence as I head for the door. Cooler air has seeped into the halls from the waning evening. I wish them a soundless goodnight as the latch clicks behind me and I become a ghost from their lives as I was before.

posted on 02/11/2019

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Tags: story, sad
Comments: 2

Comment by prettyspl: Feb 19, 2019 11:21 pm
I posted a comment but I don’t see it. I think I may have forgotten to click on the Submit button? I’ve been really sick and on a lot of medications .. maybe that’s what happened? I now can’t remember my first post but I do remember the feeling of rawness I felt after reading this piece, and that it was hauntingly beautiful and honest. I thought about this piece all night .. it infected me. (In a good way). Smiley Your a great story teller .. your words kept me interested until the very end. I thought you did an outstanding job of putting so much out there but yet keeping levels of mystery throughout this piece. Vote!
Comment by Nick1959: Feb 13, 2019 2:54 am
Interesting, I can relate to the feelings expressed here, I suppose we all have our additions. I makes me realize how much pain we each go through. Not sure I could ever resort to more than the occasional drinking binge, maybe I'm addicted to the pain

Anyway unique and very discreptive, I enjoyed sitting in on this session


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